I’ve never lost a friend.
I’ve got a lot to say and so much more to think about, and even more to feel. Here’s what I need to say now.
I am grateful for being a teacher. Every day, I am at school for the students. Every day, I have to focus on them, and every day, they make me lose myself in who they are. They make me feel alive, real, valued, needed and overwhelmed with who they are, and what they bring to the world.
I don’t know how I would have made it through these past few weeks without them.
And I barely know this group. I said good-bye to my 8th graders, most of whom I taught for three years, last May. This August, a fresh batch of lives entered my life, and I’m exhuasted and overwhelmed with getting to know them.
I’m energized, excited, laughing,learning and growing, with a group of amazing young lives.
And I told them about our loss, mine, my friends’, my teaching partners’, my husband’s. I shared with them, and they listened. And I told them all we were okay, but we were hurting.
I know I’ve just begun to feel the pain of this loss. I have so much to say about our friend Matt. But this is my first blog of this new school year, and this is about my students. This is about teaching, and how lucky I am. I have had two weeks of the beginnings of loss, and I have spent my days surrounded by young, sweet, kind, intelligent souls.
And they have saved me. And every morning, as I drive to work, I think how lucky I am that I am going to focus my energies in such a beautiful way.
Gratitude: my students and my job.
Goal: continue to keep the grace of gratitude as I grieve.